I remember from health class it was recommended that you drink eight glasses of water a day. Eight glasses? Why that’s 8 times 8 ounces, 64 ounces, half a gallon. Who has that kind of time? I work you know.
Let’s get past the debate on water vs. liquid and just say liquid: 64 ounces of liquid per day. When Coca-Cola came in a six ounce bottle that would have sounded like an awful lot. Who could possibly drink over 10 bottles of Coke? Now, we come out of the gas station convenience store or Dunkin’ Donuts with a quart of coffee in a logo thermos mug that’s larger than my grandmother’s percolator. Have you ever asked yourself, as you stand in front of the convenience store beverage fountain filling up a giant cup, “Do we live in thirsty times? Was Mom this thirsty?”
Then thinking about it, it probably doesn’t really have much to do with thirst. I think it’s more about arithmetic. The cost of soft drinks is outrageous and “I’m not paying $1.49 for a 22 ounce cup of Diet Coke. How dumb do they think I am? $1.49 for 22 ounces of carbonated water? That’s nuts, I’m not doing it.”
“What? What’s that sign say? “$1.59 for a 64 ounce Monster Quencher?” Why, that’s almost three times as much for a dime more—that’s more like it, that’s like saving $3.00.”
So I head on out with a 64 ounce Monster Quencher that kind of fits/balances in the cup holder. Off I go with my day’s recommended 64 ounces in one convenient giant cup. Good health and saving $3.00 is not only pretty refreshing it’s also pretty smart except now I’m driving 50 mph in a 30 mph zone because my bladder is screaming and ready to explode. Now as I sip from my money saving 64 ounce cup of ice cold refreshment I see flashing red reflected off the lid of my Monster Quencher Diet Coke.
I wonder if the officer will let me drive into the Gas-N-Stuff station up ahead so I can use the facilities while he’s doing his/my/our paperwork? I wonder if this ticket is going to cost me more than $3.00?