I love the summer and I love amusement parks and I really love roller coasters, as high and as steep and as fast as possible. Every year there seems to be some kind of new “Screaming” this or “Monster” that and every year that’s where I want to be, riding and last week I got my wish. A ticket that I bought on-line (as low as $44.99) got me a chance to join the other coaster enthusiasts waiting to ride the highest, steepest and fastest roller coaster ever built. It’s really something to see.
Watching the coaster shoot down the first hill and hearing the terrified riders scream their heads off made me even more excited as I stood there. Each time it shot over us everyone in that line that snaked back and forth and back and forth looked up and thought about the thrill that would soon be theirs in the short time it takes to move about half a mile 10 inches at a time. I looked to my left and saw the coaster entrance, right over there, not very far really and then realized that the line that snaked back and forth and back and forth and back and forth to get there was probably close to being about as long as the highest, steepest and fastest coaster in the world itself. While I just shuffled along in a line that went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth I glanced the other way at the smiling faces who were walking past going from ride to ride and actually getting to ride something for the price of their ticket (as low as $44.99). They’re riding alright but not on the highest, steepest and fastest—amateurs.
Every year the same music plays, the same guys kiss their girlfriends (Mr. Funny blue t-shirt had a cuter girlfriend last year) and the same calculations are made figuring that when I get off the highest, steepest and faster coaster in the world I’ll have just enough time to run and get back in line for another ride before the park closes.
I stand and wait and wait and wait as the roar of the highest and steepest and fastest coaster in the world and the screams of the idiots who wasted their whole day standing in line ahead of me become just so much annoying noise. My ticket (as low as $44.99) has done nothing but make me angry as I stand there and wait and wait but then when I am just about to scream at my hopeless situation I am sitting down and pulling down the safety harness. Up and up and up and down and down and down and faster and faster and then out of the seat, down the exit and around the sidewalk and back in line and the same song is playing and Mr. Funny blue t-shirt is still kissing his girlfriend. I grin at the guy in front of me who like me has spent his whole day waiting and waiting and waiting and say, “I can’t wait to see what they build next year.”