I fell for it again. I checked the batteries in the radio and the lantern and then sat there glued to the TV watching the brightly colored maps and radar and the storm warnings scrolling by at the bottom of the screen because of the beep. The beep? Beep, beep, beep, beep, “This is a weather alert”, beep, beep, beep, beep.
“Weather alert? Better watch. Better watch but what am I watching? Those counties are two states over, beep, beep, beep… Look at those multicolored clouds move across the map, over and over and over again. Look at the maps with green and yellow and red radar clouds and storm warning boundaries and meteorologist Jim Barometric standing there in his rolled up shirtsleeves so we’ll know he’s working hard.
Now let’s listen to Debbie Doppler tell us all about lows and highs and arrows and storm bands that are affecting towns you don’t even know exist, beep, beep, beep. Oh, here’s an interview with a crew foreman of some electric company in front of one of their trucks telling us he and his crew are standing by–good to know, beep, beep, beep. Back to Debbie who is looking ever so cute in her outfit which goes so well with the different colored clouds floating by on the screen.
Then Debbie tells us to be ready to head down to the basement because this could be the worst storm we have seen since last week when she told us the same thing. Beep, beep, beep and you’re almost ready for the southwest corner of the basement but then when you glance out the window you see a bright blue sky so much different than the green and yellow and pink and blue clouds on the TV which is showing the severe weather being experienced just 525 miles west of here. Back to the TV in time to see some guy buying flashlight batteries and bottled water.
The news anchor shakes his head, swivels around and glances at his Action Eyeball Witness 7 news co-anchor, “Let’s check in with our own Debbie Doppler at weather central, how’s it looking, Debbie?”
Debbie, who is about ten feet away from the news desk, smiles and says, “Looks like we dodged this one” and then tells everyone to have a good weekend because “it looks like the weather will be just beautiful”.
“Thanks, Deb. I’ll get my umbrella, and gloves and boots.”