This year’s Fourth of July fireworks were terrific like always. Lots of color, lots of oohs and aahs and lots of noise. It doesn’t get much better than the Fourth of July, it’s warm, it’s early in the summer and all is well but then something happens that’s a lot like having your ice cream taken away or the air let out of your tires.
I walked into the dining room and there, over there on the stack of mail on the table, on top, there, right there, all bright and colorful just waiting to be picked up and read, Monroe’s Giant Back to School Sale flyer, “Oh, look at this, Monroe’s has some really good prices on school supplies.”
School supplies? It’s July 5th, the day after Independence Day, and here come the “Back to School” ads with the goofy kids like you’ve never seen all smiley and happy and laughing as they head back to school. What is wrong with those kids, if that’s who or what they really are, I’ve never seen kids like that.
So the summer that stretched on forever has now had an ending placed on it by Monroe’s and all the other stores who want to sell pencils and notebooks and crayons and rulers and sweaters and winter coats and boots and hundreds of other things for school. Well, I don’t need school supplies and winter clothes. What I need are popsicles and a trip to WaterFunLand and baseball tickets.
How would Mr. Monroe like it if I sent out ads saying, “Come to the big Monroe’s Going out of Business Sale?” How would he like it if he looked out his window and saw trucks pulling up out front ready to take away the tables and counters and elevators and the front door from his store? How would he like it if his business came to an end just because I said it should?
As I run my genius “Going out of Business” plot over in mind I think about everyone I know who would want to let Mr. Monroe have it. I know that Jon and Carrie will join me. This is war.
“Jon, Carrie, come here. Have you seen the Monroe’s Back to School ad? Why do they have to ruin every summer? Why do I need to see gloves and stocking caps and pencils and notebooks in July? They just can’t wait for summer, my summer to come to end. I don’t want my summer to come to an end and I’m tired of them telling us that summer is over just so they can sell things.”
Jon looked at Carrie who looked at me and shrugged. “It’s just an ad. Every year it’s the same thing. Why do you allow these silly ads to ruin every summer? Were you like this when you were a kid, Dad?”