Hey, a little help here

My wife and I have been going through some pretty rough financial times lately with constant calls about late mortgage and car payments and now we’ve got the county calling about delinquent property taxes and threatening foreclosure.

I thought maybe I should talk to my boss about a raise but then I heard that the company is looking at eliminating my department and sending the work to India or Sri Lanka or someplace so I guess that’s not going to be an option.  Maybe getting a job at McDonald’s is the answer but I just can’t see myself handing Chicken Mc Nuggets and Happy Meals to my neighbors—how humiliating.

There I was tossing and turning in bed, staying awake all night worrying about what is going to happen to us when it came to me.  Why not tap into a resource that I have painstakingly built over the last few years?  My 401? No, LinkedIn. Why not send out a message to all of my LinkedIn contacts?  All of these people who have been pestering me to link to them should be willing to send a little something to a dear LinkedIn friend; after all, we’ve been so very close.

So I jumped out of bed and after linking up with the latest batch of requests fired off this message.

Hi, LinkedIn friend,

Hope everything is going well for you and yours.  How is/are your wife, husband, kid(s), dog(s), cat(s) and girl and/or boyfriend(s)?  Been getting in much golf, fishing, bowling, boating, reading or other hobbies?

You know, I was sitting here thinking about all of my LinkedIn pals, looking at their pictures (or silhouettes) and I thought about you.  How long has it been since we linked anyway?  Seems like just yesterday.  We really should try harder to stay in touch.

Things at this end have been going alright at work but are getting a little troubling on the home front what with the state of economy and all.  When I started to think about what to do I thought about turning to those closest to me for a little help and I thought about you. With all that you and I have been through together I was wondering if you could spare ten or twenty or fifty bucks for your old LinkedIn pal.

I’ve always been here for you and have invited your LinkedIn friends to be my LinkedIn friends.  I hope that you’ll be here for me and maybe PayPal a little something my way.

I look forward to hearing from you real soon.

LinkedIn forever,

If this plan works I’ll get in touch with all my closest Facebook friends for all the “likes” I’ve posted.  If it doesn’t I guess I’ll be linking up with McDonald’s.

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