Now he’s gone

I met him a long time ago and now he’s gone.

He was always very pleasant to me and now he’s gone.

It’s been years since I last saw him and now he’s gone.

I didn’t really know him that well and hadn’t seen him for a long time and I guess the reason that I keep thinking about him is that he was about my age, maybe a few years older, and now he’s gone.

Round and round

I don’t like to go shopping and I especially don’t like to go shopping at the mall because of the parking.  When I do have to head over to Whispering White Willows Creek Mall I usually park way in the back where there are always spaces and then I walk past the guy up front with his blinker on who sits there waiting to lay claim to the next spot in the aisle that opens up (he’ll be there when you come out) and past the cars going round and round in the parking lot version of musical chairs.

Before handicapped parking was created you didn’t see many disabled people at the mall because the parking just made it too difficult for them. Now there are handicapped spots close to the mall entrance and the number of spaces seems to be increasing.  The convenience of close-in parking has really helped the disabled get out there in the world.

When I was out doing some Christmas shopping as I walked through the parking lot past blinker and the musical parking group I saw a little red something pull into a handicapped spot and a young guy pop out.  I thought that it was so nice that a young man would take his grandmother or grandfather out for some shopping but then he went into the mall by himself.  There was no one else in the car that had the handicapped parking placard hanging from the mirror, it was his car.

I did some research and found that in addition to using a wheelchair, walker, cane or crutches people can qualify for handicapped parking by having a debilitating condition which may be caused by afflictions such as arthritis, obesity,  corns, calluses, bunions or sore feet, tennis elbow, carpal tunnel syndrome, headaches, post nasal drip, acid reflux disease, depression and pms (special consideration for pms is probably a good idea).  Everyone gets a sticker or placard.

The problem with handicapped parking is that when everyone is handicapped no one is handicapped so now we have handicapped and non-handicapped blinkers and handicapped and non-handicapped musical parking and little has changed from the way it was before handicapped parking was created.

For me, when I have to go to the mall I’ll keep parking in the back and walk past them all.  I guess I’ll just keep doing that until my application is approved (psoriasis).

 

Turning my life around

As I grow older I seem to spend more and more time looking back over my life.  When I think about the decisions that I’ve made and the paths that I’ve chosen I find that I often didn’t really feel that I was in control at all.  Something always seemed to affect what I wanted and then what I was able to accomplish.  I know I kind of sensed that there was something that was holding me back but I could never identify what it was and so I just slogged on. 

I could have been a great high school athlete but I could hardly make it through gym class so there was no way I was going to be able handle football two-a-days and that meant I was never there to lead the Bulldogs to a championship.  When I was in the Army in basic training I would flop down on my bunk when we came back in from marching less than a mile–so much for my dreams of joining the Army Special Forces (I know that I could have made a difference for America in a dangerous world if I had been there to protect the nation). After I graduated from college and started my first real job my boss gave me a special assignment because he wanted to see what I could do.  He said I was going to be his “golden-haired boy’ but I soon lost interest in the project and turned in work that his ten year old could have done and there went that business career (Mr. Clark’s “golden-haired boy” has spent most of his career pushing a mail cart).

Do you see a pattern here?  I sure do.  I could have been an all-star, I should have been an all-star. Ask yourself how difficult it must be for me to sit there all alone in front of my flat screen every Sunday afternoon watching football, eating Cheetos and knowing that it should be me scoring those touchdowns.  Ask yourself how painful it must be for me to have a miserable, go nowhere job when I know I should be some firm’s CEO.  I could have been somebody.  I could have, I should have.  Don’t think that this hasn’t tormented me my whole life.  What I have not done drives me crazy.

 It’s pretty hard to live with failure but then watching a game between San Francisco and Green Bay something happened. It had nothing to do with the game on the field, it was a commercial, a commercial that has changed my life.  I found out that I’m not a failure, it’s not my fault that I’ve never accomplished anything. Turns out it’s low-T, I have low-T. What a relief. It’s not me, it’s low-T.

Now that I’ve found out what my problem has been I’ll be using the product I saw on TV (the guy in the commercial riding around in a hot ‘66 Mustang convertible seems to be really confident plus he has a cute young girlfriend). Nice car, nice girl friend, nice life.

I’m on my way. Things are going to change and change fast.  I just left a message for the coach of the Browns telling him that I’ll be stopping by.  After my tryout I want to see if I can find a ‘67 or ‘68 Mustang (maybe a red or dark green fastback) and then I think I may even sign up with eHarmony so I’ll have someone to ride around with me in my new car. Things are looking up. My life is turning around. Low-T. Who knew?

Ask your doctor.

 

My New Year’s resolution

Every year it’s always the same. Like most people I make a list of silly resolutions and then disappoint myself when I don’t follow through. This year is going to be different. This year I’m going to make some serious resolutions which make sense. This year I resolve to run a marathon, have my taxes ready to send in no later than the 15th of January, stop eating gluten, cut out lactose, stop drinking beer (other than craft beers which cost over $7.50 a pint), stop using the car when I can walk or bike, learn how to speak a foreign language, learn to love soccer, make sure that I consume nothing with high fructose corn syrup, think about getting a full time job, start the journey to become vegan and plan to visit my sweet Aunt Ruthie who I haven’t seen for such a long time.

I was feeling pretty good about myself and my resolutions but then I looked back over the list and realized that maybe I’m trying to do too many things. Maybe instead of making a long list of resolutions this year I should concentrate on just one. Maybe that resolution for me should be to visit my Aunt Ruthie.  She was always such an important part of my life when I was a kid and now as she enters the twilight of her life I feel bad about not seeing her and not being there for her.  What a sweet, wonderful lady. As I sit here thinking about her it hit me how much I miss her now.

I’m not only going to resolve to visit her I am going to visit her right away.  I really love my Aunt Ruthie.  I just can’t wait to head on out to Denver to see her and then maybe while I’m out there I’ll take in that great Colorado experience.

Make a resolution and then keep it, that’s what I say.